Jan 7, 2016

Posted by in My View | 0 Comments

It Sucks to be a Single Parent

Let’s be honest. It sucks to be a single parent. Whether you’re a single mother, single father, single grandmother, etc…

If you are the sole caretaker of a child or several children, you will understand what I’m saying.

I have help from my family, and it’s still hard.

  • When you doubt yourself, you have no one to turn to in the moment.
  • EVERYTHING is your responsibility, and the constant stress of that can break anyone.
  • You can’t take a break. The child(ren) always need something, be it supervision, food, clothes, or just a cuddle.
  • There is only one income. If you’re lucky, child support can cover the groceries for a week. Or an extra curricular activity for the kid(s).
  • You have to be strong. NO MATTER WHAT. Even when you want to crawl into bed, curl into a ball, and slowly die staring out the window.
  • Dating!!!! Trying to be an adult!!! UGHHHHHHHH….even when you have the chance, you’re too tired to actually take it.
  • Being the main, and sometimes, only role model. Everyone makes mistakes, but your mistakes may cause bigger problems down the road. When you’re solely responsible for shaping a human being, mistakes can be a big thing.
  • Teaching a boy how to be a good man when you’re a woman, or teaching a young girl how to be a good woman when you’re a man, all while trying not to perpetuate society’s double standards and conformity ideas.
  • Knowing that you’re being judged by people. This includes family, friends, strangers on the street, or other parents you may know. Straight up everyone has an opinion. And always without knowing the facts.

I have a history of depression and panic attacks…hiding this from my child who is still too young (in my eyes) to understand, has been one of the most difficult things for me. When I was married it was a little easier because there was someone else to bear some of the weight.

Luckily for me, I have family members who are truly supportive. Despite the fact I am a single mother, I know I’m not alone. This isn’t the case for other single parent homes.

I just wanted you to know I GET IT.

Doing it alone is frustrating. And annoying. And sad. And scary.

You, maybe, didn’t plan to go into this alone. Yet here you are.

It effing sucks.

And you want to scream and cry.

But you can’t.

Because the Kid is sitting next to you while you read this, watching his cartoon or playing on his iPad (that you struggled to get and he cracked the screen a few weeks later).

Suddenly, he starts to laugh. And you look at that grinning, mischievous face, and you’re heart just breaks.

Because as hard as it is to do all this, to lose yourself a little because you’re playing too many roles – you love the Kid. And that’s all that matters right now. Life figures itself out.

Stay strong.

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