The ONE Reason I’ll Never go to a Free Workout Session
I’m the fat girl
That pretty much sums it up.
Don’t come spouting your body positive ideals, and your “you’re not even that big” nonsense. Just hear me out.
As a blogger, especially living in body conscious Boston, I am offered many opportunities to attend free spinning classes. Free barre classes. Free Trillfit. Free hot yoga. All with the opportunity to meet new people, try a new workout I’m sure I’ll love, and various other perks I won’t be able to list because I’ve never been to a single one.
Not a single class. And trust me, I’ve gotten the email blasts, or the other friendly blogger asking me to join her. I politely decline every invitation.
Because I’m fat.
See, it’s a catch 22. I’m fat and I want to workout. But I don’t want to be embarrassed by trying to huff and puff my way through a spin class, a butt cheek hanging off each side, while next to a gorgeous, athletic blonde super goddess.
Can you just imagine me trying to downward dog in front of some Lulu Lemon wearing, juice cleansing brunette? Yeah, no thank you!
How about at barre class next to a lithe redhead, as I groan through pliès, and grab my ankle to throw my leg on the bar to stretch?
Body confidence my ass.
I have gone from a size 20/22 to a size 14/16. I am proud of myself everyday as I continue to struggle through weight loss. There are days when I love how I feel and how I look. There are days when I want to take a knife and cut off every inch of flab from my stomach, arms and back.
I won’t sabotage myself by going to one of these classes. I would loooove to try something new and push myself. But unless this is the beginner beginner class, as in the “I haven’t exercised in years and need to take this very slow and not embarrass myself” class (described beautifully by my like-minded aunt), I will not be going.